The Importance of Family Meals
How easy it is to let the family meal slip away from our every day lives. We are busy, tired and sometimes feel that cooking at the end of the day is the last thing we want to do.
Here are a few thoughts and some ideas that will help bring everyone together at the table.
Why is it so important to share food with each other? A child's first comfort comes from being held in a mother or father's arms and being fed. Feeling cared for and loved is a need that continues throughout life and sharing a meal is an important element of life.
This is a time for sharing stories, laughing and feeling close to one another. Meal times should not be stressful or a time to teach children table manners and politeness. These skills can be shared with the children at an earlier time as a lesson rather than a correction. Of course, modeling the behavior we want to see is the best way to teach our children. They want to be like us, to behave like us and to sound like us, so showing them our best manners and attitude is very important.
When our society was largely agriculture based, meals were always a family gathering. Children helped pick fruit and vegetables, gathered eggs, milked the cows and participated in the preparation of the food. As most of us live in towns and cities now how can we bring back this opportunity for family togetherness?
Here are a few ideas:
- Give children some choices as the meals for the week are being planned, An hour spent on the weekend will result in easier week day evenings. Make sure to present no more than two choices at a time: "Should we have tacos or spaghetti on Monday?"
- Let children help make the shopping list. If they are old enough to write they love doing this job.
- Prepare as much as possible on the weekend. Cook the soup, make the spaghetti sauce, wash and cut the vegetables. Children love to help. Montessori children help prepare snack on a daily basis. Be sure to have serrated knives with round tips and child size tools when possible. At the end of the blog is a link to a great source for these items.
- Set the table: add a few flowers or herbs in a vase. Children love to do this, and arrange flowers at school. Small containers such as bottles and jars look lovely with just a few springs of green or a wild flower or two. This helps make meal time a special occasion.
- Playing some soft music is pleasant and makes for good conversation.
- Eating outside in good weather is relaxing, casual and fun for the whole family.
- \This is a good time to show how delicious and appealing healthy food can be. Encourage, but do not force children to try new things. Seeing parents enjoy a variety of food is the best way to get children to eat their meal.
- Try to avoid processed food and restaurant take out. Preparing the meal together sets the stage for a pleasant meal and is far more healthful for everyone.
- Never use food as a punishment or reward. The purpose of food is nourishment and enjoyment. It is very important to remember this.
- If the child doesn't want to eat, that is all right. We cannot force a child to eat. However, when the meal is over, there are no snacks or other food until the next meal. If the child says he or she is hungry later, the answer is "You will really enjoy your next meal."
At first, if this is too difficult to do everyday, begin with several meals a week and increase slowly. Most of all cherish this time with your family. The memories that are made by sharing food and stories around the table cannot be replaced. ENJOY!
A source for child sized tools and cooking implements: http://www.forsmallhands.com/
