Thursday, February 28, 2019

Get Growing! Gardening with children.


How gardening can affect the BRAIN:
 The wonder of seeing a garden grow may spark your kids to ask questions like: Why do the plants need sun? How does the plant “drink” water? Why are worms good for the plants? Soon you will be talking about soil composition, photosynthesis and more! Add a little math while gardening by measuring how much plants are growing from week to week or counting the flowers on each plant. Supplement the experience of gardening with books about plants, trips to a botanical garden, or a photo journal of the plants that you are growing.
Once you harvest your produce, think of all the brain-building vitamins, minerals and nutrients your kids will be eating and how that will continue to boost brain development. Foods like spinach, garlic and beets (which are all easy to grow) have been shown to help with cognitive function and can give your kids an advantage in their growth and development. Even if kids may not love the foods they grow at first, teach them to keep tasting and trying and to train their taste buds to enjoy the bounty of their garden.
How gardening can affect the BODY:
When children participate in gardening, the fruits and vegetables that they are inspired to eat will no doubt have a positive effect on their body. But the act of gardening itself can also promote a healthy body. Kids LOVE to get their hands and feet in the dirt, which can run counter to the modern parenting style of compulsively keeping hands and surfaces cleaned and sanitized. However, consider the “hygiene hypothesis,” a theory that a lack of childhood exposure to germs actually increases a child’s susceptibility to diseases like asthma, allergies and autoimmune conditions by suppressing the development of the immune system. So getting dirty while gardening may actually strengthen a child’s immunity and overall health.
These days all kids could benefit from a little more physical activity and sunshine they’ll get while gardening. Activities like moving soil, carrying a heavy watering can, digging in the dirt and pushing a wheelbarrow can promote gross motor skills and overall strength for a more fit body. Plus, these activities, known as “heavy work,” have been shown to help kids stay calm and focused.
How gardening can affect the SOUL:
In this electronic age, kids need time for meaningful family connection. Time in the garden allows for team building and promotes communication skills. Planning a garden, planting the seeds and watching them grow give kids a sense of purpose and responsibility. Making sure that the plants get enough fertilizer, water and sun fosters mindfulness. The concepts learned while gardening, like composting food scraps for fertilizer or using gathered rainwater, can show kids a deep respect and responsibility for taking care of our planet.
Furthermore, studies show that when children have contact with soil during activities like digging and planting, they have improved moods, better learning experiences and decreased anxiety. Most important, the self-esteem a child gets from eating a perfect cucumber that he grew himself is priceless.

Grow hearts, bodies and minds together!

Thursday, February 14, 2019

Consequences Instead of Punishment: Building character and maturity



We have all been there...our child makes a poor choice and creates a problem for his or her self.  We know we want them to learn an important lesson, but how to bring that about?

And what is the difference between consequence and punishment?

Punishment is often not related to the problem at all.  For example...see the bike at the top of the page?

Mom and Dad finally bought the much wanted bike for their son.  A designated place was marked off in the driveway (or garage) and the child was told: " When you are not on your bike it must be in its parking place and no where else.

One day the boy was in a hurry to get inside and he left the bike in the middle of the driveway.  Sadly, a delivery truck did not see it and ran over it.
Oh, the wailing and tears.  "Dad, dad my bike is ruined.  I love that bike so much."

So the punishment response might be: "See I told you what would happen if you left that bike in the wrong place.  And now it is ruined and you don't have a bike.  You need to pay attention when I tell you something.  You will have no TV for two weeks.  Maybe that will teach you to be more responsible."
As understandable is the parents anger, this punishment and response is not the best way to get the result of better behavior.  It is not directly related to the mistake.

Now for the consequence response:  Oh, my son.  I know how much that bike means to you.  You really love having it, don't you?"  This is empathy and sympathy, but NOT approval of the mistake.
The boy gets that Dad understands how upset he is and replies:
"Can I have another bike, please, please?"  Of course we might want to reply, "No way.  You left it out and now it is gone."

So try this: " Yes, you can have another bike.  How do you plan to pay for it?"  This puts the problem back in the child's lap.  He will probably say that he doesn't have any money.  Responding with "Well we can talk about some ways for you to earn money.  And you have some money from your birthday."  It may take a long time for the money to accumulate (and the parent can chip in after a while or offer payment for extra jobs around the home).  This is a real consequence of the child's actions.  It is a lesson that is fair, delivered without anger, and gives him a way to right the wrong. From this he will learn responsibility, the advantages of hard work, and that his parents are fair and reasonable, but follow through when mistakes are made.

As with all new things, it may take a while to get comfortable with this approach, but the dividends are worth it.  The time to teach responsibility is when the child is young.  These are what we call affordable mistakes, mistakes that do not have dire results.  We want our children to learn these lessons before the teen years, when mistakes and errors in judgement can have serious consequences and even life changing problems.