Family Chores and How to Get Them Done

We all would like our children to help out with the daily work and responsibilities at home.  We know that this encourages responsibility, cooperation, self worth and a feeling of belonging.  But how to get the bed made, the toys picked up, the spilled water mopped and all the other daily jobs done?

A good beginning is to redefine the terms "chores" or "jobs".

If we call these tasks "family contributions" they become important parts of the life of everyone in the home.  When our children realize that everyone must contribute to the care of the home it becomes a shared activity.  Of course, as parents we do many contributions so we must define what the tasks are and who will be making that particular contribution. 

Each family member should have a set of contributions that they are responsible for every day.  The care of our home is important to every family member so these contributions are for the comfort and well being of everyone.  

Children are capable of doing much more than we realize.  At the same time it is important to understand that we cannot expect perfection as the children master the skills needed to do a good job.  Here is a list of contributions that children can make a various ages. 

Of course you can add to these to suit your family.  The first step is to demonstrate how to do the activity.  Using words is the least effective way for children to learn.  Show them where to get the supplies they will need and then demonstrate how to do the job slowly and carefully.  Then let the child do the job.  At this point we need to minimize corrections and criticisms, as these are not helpful.  If after several attempts the contribution is not improving we may need to demonstrate again.  Remember that it takes time to master a new skill.  It is important to show approval and appreciation of the effort, not just the result.  For example: "You are really working hard at making your bed.  I notice the pillows are at the top of the bed and the sheets are nice and smooth."  Find something concrete to praise and try to avoid comments such as "good job", as these are not as effective as specific comments.
Some families have had good success with a job jar containing slips of paper with various extra contributions the child can make.  Each person (including parents) draws one or two from the jar each week.  These are in addition to the regular contributions.  Included in the job jar are surprises such as "the whole family goes to the park" or "enjoy an ice cream cone".  
As the children see parents tackling their contributions with enthusiasm and joy and appreciating each other's efforts the pleasure of taking care of their home and themselves will be a reward for work well done.  
This can take quite a while, but with the example of dedicated parents and careful demonstrations of how to complete the tasks a new era of family unity can emerge. 
Remember:  Have fun!  Show love and joy for your work!